Friday, 18 October 2013

#GiveXFactorAChance: If Joe Copplestone was mentoring "Love and Heartache" week...

It's "Love and Heartbreak" week this week. A total cop-out week if you ask me, surely resulting in a nauseating stream of power ballads, tearful "personal" confessions and subsequent standing ovations from judges. However, such a broad spectrum surely makes it easy to choose the right songs - belty for belters, romantic for the crooners, and adorable for the young'uns. However, there's absolutely scope to pick a disastrous song too. 

So judges, if you're reading, I'm throwing you a lifeline. Here are the songs you need to make sure your acts break a few hearts. You're welcome.

The odds of Louis going down a tasteful route with this theme are laughable, but his boys could definitely do with a bit of stripped down singer/songwriter credibility this week.

Ed Sheeran - "U.N.I"
After singing a song totally beyond his emotional understanding last week, Ed Sheeran's university breakup song could allow Luke to tap into emotions much more relevant to his age group. Sadly, the odds of Louis having even heard this song are slim to none.

Keane - "Somewhere Only We Know"
Since Nicky is destined to be a mini-crooner with or without Louis, and I think this watery, inoffensive indie anthem would to be a good song to show off his range and keep him on the right side of cheesy.

Coldplay - "The Scientist"
This could allow Sam to go back to basics after the shaky, over-energetic performance last week. Singing standing still with a guitar would allow him to concentrate on his vocal, a much needed endevour, and even flex his falsetto muscle. How well he'd do would remain to be seen, but it's a gorgeous song that surely no half decent singer could screw up.

After having two acts in the bottom two last week, Sharon could do with some sure fire vote-winning performances. But her two acts are in very different places, needing very different approaches...

Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"
Just the idea of Sam singing this is breathtaking. To hear her try something a little less dramatic and more heartbreaking would also allow her to show us not just her physical range but her emotional range, which has yet to really be stretched any further out than "melodramatic".

Beyonce - "Love On Top"
After 2 very serious performances last week leaving voters a bit uninterested, Shelley doing an uptempo, modern and fun song like "Love On Top" could remind us of the theatrics and personality that set her aside from being just-another-Over. I'm pretty sure her odds of surviving another flashvote are pretty much zero.

Choosing love songs for groups can end up terribly sappy and often dull, so it's time for Gary to get creative to save his acts.

One Direction - "Little Things"
I assure you I am not a fan of this song. BUT, I think it's time Kingsland showed off a little bit of boyband diversity. If they can pull of a shitty sitting on stools ballad, they can pull off anything. Plus the 1D fan votes would definitely save them from a tricky week for them.

Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
After their anonymity last week, the girls could do with a song that allows them to display a little swagger in their heartbreak rather than a ballad that drowns them.

Justin Timberlake - "My Love"
Allowing the boys to be sexy rather than big babies for once would be refreshing. They could definitely get hearts racing with the right routine for this.

Traditionally, any theme involving "Love" is easy for the Girls catagory, as they can just play the vulnerability card. Nicole's pretty much got this in the bag, but I have some interesting choices nonetheless... 

The xx - "Angels"
This would be a huge risk, but if Abi could pull off a haunting piano version of this, she would increase her credibility three-fold.

Rihanna - "Stay"

A safe choice, but one that will allow Hannah to play up to her sob story (any one of them!) as well as lend her deep, husky voice to a song that Rihanna herself sings so nasally.

Drake - "Marvin's Room" (JoJo Version)
This would be seriously cool, but a definite no-go - JoJo has a potty mouth. I still feel I know nothing about this girl, so this is a song I feel would play well with her image and allow her to show off a vulnerable side. She has support for some reason, so I figure she doesn't need a belter.

- Joe Copplestone, 18/10/13


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