Top 10 of January 2011.

It's always tricky to do a list for January because of the irritating crossover between songs that could possibly have been released last year but have come to prominance in the first weeks of this year, so this is simply a list of music to have emerged properly as the new year begins.

Britney does not feature, just to say.

10. Gypsy & The Cat - Time to Wander

Happy-go-synthy duo Gypsy & The Cat are hardly treading new ground with their 80s infused indiepop, but the epic bounce of "Time to Wander" does more than enough to keep last year's fads alive into the new year. A heave-ho thwack of a beat and a clunky synth bass/piano pairing allow the track to not just wander, but go once step further and gallop. Dizzy synth and skydiving guitars and a lovely Cut Copy-esque vocal seal the deal and you've got yet another wonderful band flying the flag for the absurdly grin-inducing Australian indie scene.

9. Warpaint - Shadows (Neon Lights Remix)

Warpaint's "Fool" record was one long hazy dream, whether a nice one or a nightmare was anyone's guess, but its beauty and startling melodies could not be argued with. The band's "Shadows" single introduces a remix that takes an anti-anthem and makes it a straight up bonafide ANTHEM. Despite opting to cut out the delirious not-quite-hitting-the-note moment in the chorus (the best part, but hey ho) switching shimmering acoustics and primitive drumming for new age synth squelches and fucking huge chords could not have made  this track more addictive if it injected cocaine into its tinkling pop and click beat.

8. Niki and the Dove - Mother Protect

Those bloody swedes are at it again. When The Knife and Fever Ray seem to fade from prominance from the second, we've already got a quirky alt-swede-pop act ready to jump into their shoes. But there's something different about Niki and the Dove, in that they don't want to isolate and confuse you like Fever Ray, they want to get through to you, into your very bones, put you into a trance and compel you to move. At first you aren't sure if this is going to be a dark slog or not, but by the time that pan pipe loop kicks in, your doubts are banished, and what replaces it is a joyous, euphoric, and actually quite organic-sounding anthem that declares adamantly "You can't keep me down, I am done, I am furious!" Indeed, I can't see anyone trying to. Sound of 2011? Certainly ain't Jessie J.

7. Purity Ring - Ungirthed

Like Sleigh Bells and Crystal Castles before them, Purity Ring are the sort of defiantly sharp sounding alt-dance act that put a massive grin on your face from the moment their tracks start and it stays there until the abrupt end. Like the two aforementioned bands, who were both astonishing in 2010, Purity Ring are destined for the same kind of greatness in 2011. Beginning like a Lil Wayne track, there's the hard faced urban kick clap beat, a dubstep laden bass line, and the twee female vocals jump playfully around in all sorts of octaves, and the whole thing sounds delightfully fresh. At less than 3 minutes, it could've only been a minute long and still made its point. "Ears ringing, teeth clicking" is their mantra here, and it couldn't sum up the effect that Purity Ring have on their listeners. Bring it on.

6. Nicki Minaj - Roman's Revenge (Remix feat. Lil Wayne)

It's got to the point where you kind of want to see the back of Ms Minaj for a while, but this is one track that refuses to go away, and now Lil Wayne is out of prison, its clear that this is what the track should've sounded like all along. Slim Shady, thanks for showing up, but I think you need to sort out some issues and come back with something interesting to say. Whilst Eminem came across like the "has-been" Nicki described him as, her performance made the song, but now Lil Wayne brings it just as hard. Sounding ravenous and ALIVE for the first time in years, he screams, rants and has to stop for breath on a couple of occasions. "Drink in my hand with the world in the other, The Uzi go BRRRRRR...stutter!" he grills and with all his might cries "I'm a fuckin' assassin, you should jump in a casket" as his flow seamlessly runs into Nicki's "Is this the thanks that I get?" second verse. The presence of the two Young Monarians is an almighty onslaught that perfects this already outstanding track. Oh and just to say... "You and this boy Lil Weezy" brings a grin to my face, I'm sure it will to yours.

5. Destroyer - Kaputt

This is Destroyer's ninth record, and the first one I have ever heard, and according to fans its his best. I have yet to discover the joys of Destroyer's journey to this point, but if any of it is a gorgeous as the title track to his 2011 "Kaputt" record, I may just have a new favourite artist. Every kind of lush soft rock and new wave cliche is chucked into the pot, add some shoegazer guitars for added dreaminess, and some acid jazz brass for the cool factor man, and what you've got is this simply perfect anthem for the fame hungry. "Sound, Smash Hits, Melody Maker, NME, all sound like a dream to me." Destroyer mastermind Dan Bejar slurs at us in his could-be-lecherous-but-its-too-slick-to-matter voice. 6 minutes could well be too short for something this lovely.

The video's a bit odd though, I do warn you.

4. Cut Copy - Take Me Over

Cut Copy are without a doubt the return of 2011 for me. "In Ghost Colours" was quite simply flabbergastingly  good, and 3 years on, yours truly is hoping for something that will shoot me dead. Now... to say that "Take Me Over" shoots me dead is not quite accurate, it simply feeds me some pills and tells me I'll reach Nirvana soon (the state of perfect existence, not the seminal angsty grunge act). "In Ghost Colours" cuts like "Hearts on Fire" and "Lights and Music" were indie rave classics that pummelled you with enough gorgeous hooks to last you until their next record, but this time round, the band wants you to LISTEN a bit more, and appreciate the sheer songcraft and love expressed in their music. "Take Me Over" is given the space to breathe and its carefree, wonderful chorus, with all its little vocal adlibs, is virtually sing song, caressed by a million spiralling synths and a laid back beat that encourages but doesn't force you to dance. Quite simply, it knows it doesn't need to.

3. Adele - Set Fire to the Rain

To me, "19" was lovely, but Adele was a defeated, hurt and innocent girl on that record. On the admirable "21", she's older and wiser, and "Set Fire to the Rain" is more reflective than anything she's done before. Adele sings of the ignorance of looking to love to heal you when you're weak, and lines such as "My knees were far too weak, to stand in your arms without falling to your feet" are fraught with a knowing but her incredible vocal declares a strength and an ability to move on. Of course, it also helps that "Set Fire to the Rain" is blessed with the most powerful chorus and beautiful melody of the album. Whilst certain songs on "21", such as the potentially equally incredible "Turning Tables", sound a little unfinished, "Set Fire to the Rain" stands alongside "Hometown Glory" as her most affecting achievement.

2. Chilly Gonzales - You Can Dance

Working with Electrofunk masters Boys Noise on Gonzales' latest, "Ivory Tower", has resulted in one of the most irresistible nu-disco tracks of recent times. "You Can Dance" simply IS the party, Gonzales himself cracking out those cocky, slightly jazzy piano chords like its 1977 as his party crowd sing along at the top of their lungs, full of shouts of encouragement and drunken heckles as the backing singers bring the drama. Whatever the "ivory tower" or "the electro piano universe" mumbo jumbo lyrics are about is irrelevant, all that matters is that you can dance. And indeed for 5 minutes and 11 seconds, you can't stop.

1. Cut Copy - Need You Now

I need Cut Copy now. And yet, as a citizen who values decent music, I have vowed to wait til the 7th February to experience the excitement of buying a physical copy of "Zonoscope", Cut Copy's 3rd studio album, come home, sit down and lose myself in what I expect to be as feel good and hands-in-the-air as "In Ghost Colours" was 3 years ago.

Or rather, I EXPECTED it to be feel good and hands-in-the-air, as first single "Take Me Over" suggested. That was until I heard what will be the opening track on "Zonoscope", "Need You Now". This track is a revelation. We're not just dancing, we're feeling uplifted, comforted, and above all not alone. At first it feels as if the track could go nowhere, much like the relationship described in the lyrics, but hanging in there will be the best decision you as a listener will make this year (probably). 

Singer Dan Whitford begins with a mumble and ends with a desperate cry of "I know we're going crazy, but I need you now". The track does something similar. Opening with the quiet burble of electronics and pads, the track builds and builds and builds upon a hypnotic groove, until a euphoric climax that will dazzle stargazers everywhere. If Cut Copy were once known for providing hook upon hook, its clear they've learnt a better trick. Sometimes a track's payoff can be good enough to warrant a bit of a build up, and what a, WHAT a build up.

Cut Copy, won't lie, we need you too. *I* need you too!

 Need You Now by cutcopymusic 

Popdar #14: Breakage.

"What could be better than fighting fire with you?" sings delicate voiced Jess Mills on this sinister club anthem, taken straight from the 2000s-Tiesto school of writing modern trance, and she's right. Whilst Tiesto himself finds himself trying to compete with David Guetta and sadly losing the joyful spark in his dance music (the awful Kaleidoscope showed a man desperate to be anything but himself), James Breakage isn't out to create a new sound, he's trying to revive an old one.

One could argue that "Fighting Fire" owes something to the dubstep bounce that has been popular of recent months, but listen to the stainless steel bass and precise synth raindrops. This is not a dirty track by any means, it's sharp and clean, like being blinded by a strobe light glinting off a blade. More of this please in 2011, I miss trance.

Popdar #13: Alexander Moon.

Let's all recall the first time we heard Rihanna's "Only Girl in the World", the sheer exhilaration we felt at the moment the chorus hit. But it's nothing new to hear a glamorous pop-diva smirk out a floorfilling anthem, even if it is the previously long-time-troubled Rihanna finally cheering up.

Forget everything you think about the modern dancepop anthem now. Through his filtered wry smile of a vocal, Alexander Moon calls us to the dancefloor selflessly with a genuine desire to party and urges us to give it all we've got. Collosal beats and destructive synths argue his case admirably, and let's hope 2011 is the year that proves guys don't have to croon out anthems about being "just the way you are", they can call you to the dancefloor as well as any high maintenance popstress.

Something a bit more personal for 2011.

Well... it's me.

 Joe Copplestone - Got Through EP (2011) by JoeCopplestone

Enjoy. (Hopefully)

Artwork by Luke Abrahams, 2010.

Popdar #12: Hold it against you Britney?

There's not real anything you can hold against Britney with her new single, her first since 2009. It has a pretty little chorus, one that recalls the bubblegum-teenage-dream-pop of yore, pulses along to a thunderous eurodance rhythm designed to shatter gay club speakers (and one that will no doubt be diluted by Cahill, Freemasons and the like to tone this down, I can already hear the Bimbo Jones take) and even has the audacity to chuck in a bizarre Die Hard dubstep middle 8. She's worked with a ton of producers and it shows. Dare I say, on first listen, the track seems a little bit confused and overlong.

But with repeated listens, beware. How do you know a Britney single from a single from any other female artist? It's like pop-crack, whilst, say, the younger Katy Perry can only manage pop-pro-plus. Now in 2011, her itsy bitsy voice has become immortal and every time you hear it, you hear that girl from "Baby one More Time" and somehow, every lyric she utters becomes instantly and unavoidably iconic. For an individual who is accused of losing her talent, she will have the one thing most artists long for all their careers: Presence.

So what if "Hold it Against Me" is a bit of a mish-mash of a load of producers ideas? It works because it's a half good track at least, and that's all that's needed for Britney to alleviate it to what will probably become of the biggest singles of 2011. Lord help us all.

Top 20 Albums of 2010 (In Brief) and 5 ARTISTS FOR 2011!

There comes a time when frankly a year should be put to rest, the christmas tree taken down, and NEW music embraced. So no blurbs for these, but just 20 honorary (and very much ordered) mentions for my favourite albums of 2010.


TOP 20 ALBUMS OF 2010
20 Rihanna - Loud
19 Vampire Weekend - Contra
18 Kylie Minogue - Aphrodite
17 Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Before Today
16 Rumer - Seasons of my Soul
15 Four Tet - Love Cry
14 Kelis - Flesh Tone
13 Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid
12 Delphic - Acolyte
11 Stornoway - Beachcomber's Windowsill
10 Tyler, The Creator! - Bastard
9 Antony & The Johnsons - Swanlights
8 Hurts - Happiness
7 Sleigh Bells - Treats
6 Delorean - Subiza
5   Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles II
4   Robyn - Body Talk
3   The Depreciation Guild - Spirit Youth
2   Beach House - Teen Dream
1   Anathema - We're Here Because We're Here


There we are then, lovely. So that my friends is a cap on 2010. Anathema gave me hope, Robyn gave me emotional support and Rihanna gave me the ultimate drinking anthem. Time to see what 2011 brings eh? I have a few ideas.


Now I've realised I'm hardly the zeitgeist for guessing what will be big, only what will be good. I mean, my tip for 2010 was Owl City, and that was hardly a suggestion that deserves recalling much now. But still, with regards to whose records I am looking forward to MOST this year, the 5 listed hear are the ones who fit that bill the best, and I reckon together they could define my 2011. Partially. I seem to swear by different artists every month. (Robyn being the exception this last year, but that's only because she never fucked off, praise the lord).

Oh and Lady Gaga and Britney Spears don't feature. This is new stuff bitches. Although I'm sure both those high-maintenance divas will create partially brilliant and partially awful records that I also wet myself with excitement at the prospect of hearing.

5 MOPP.
Trancey electronic dance music that is shamefully rarely heard these days.
For fans of: Above & Beyond, Tiesto, Chicane, Ferry Corsten



4 Jessie J
A new bitch with attitude and more talent than can possibly be contained. Is it R&B, is it Electro? Is it good? Perhaps, perhaps, YES.
For fans of: Rihanna, Beyonce, Ciara, Ke$ha



3 Katy B
The first lady of dubstep has simply got to release a solo record in 2011. Guarantee it will be laid back, dirty and irresistable.
For fans of: Magnetic Man, Ms Dynamite, Skream



2 James Blake
Who says Trip Hop is dead? Dubby beats that rustle and click underneath a plethora of quirky instruments and samples, and occasionally rather beautiful songs, James Blake is definately one to watch this year.
For fans of: Portishead, Massive Attack, Eskmo, Caribou
(Show "Limit to your Love")



1 The Naked & Famous
The Killers could only dream of writing tunes this big. Dancey, euphoric and delightfully over the top, The Naked & Famous could play their cards right and release the album of 2011. I understand it's currently leaked but I REFUSE to pander to this.
For fans of: Passion Pit, Bloc Party, Fenech-Soler, The Killers

Popdar #11: Some stuff to get excited about for 2011

As if I wasn't excited enough for Katy B's album, this revelation opens her forthcoming record up to a whole new ballpark of early 90s house interpretation. Simply, fuck yes.

And Cut Copy's Zonoscope may have a lot to live up to after the giddying heights of "In Ghost Colours", but one listen to recent single "Take Me Over" and one has only to realise that they've taken a different tack for 2011... rather than "LET'S RAVE TIL WE BLEED" it's more "Let's chill the fuck out". And hell it works, but they can't deny themselves a few gorgeous hooks along the way.

And who says cheesy house DJs can't release balearia in winter? I ask you! Eric Prydz I salute you, and hope this is as big a club hit as that "Call on Me" one, weren't nowt wrong wi' that! This remix makes it all a bit 2007, which is fine by me if it's Funky House we're talking about.

Oh I'm excited now :D A new year, NEW rules.

Top 5 Worst Songs of 2010.

...and finally. The WORST of the WORST.

5 Scouting For Girls - This Ain't A Love Song
No it certainly ain't, it's a pile of mixed messages and fucking Mumford and Sons bollocks. I just don't get what they're trying to say. "This ain't a love song, this is goodbye?" Well fair enough. But why say that you're a "little bit lost without (her)"? And that you're a "bloody big mess inside"? I thought you were holding it together mate. Just a load of cliched balladic phrases over a dull backing track. Go figure.

4 We No Speak Americano - Yolanda Be Cool vs. DCUP
Has there ever been a more irritating track in the history of music? And has their ever been a beat that offended you more? Oh fuck off, you're making me want to put you in my "songs I shouldn't like, but..." list. Tosser.

3 The Time (Dirty Bit) - Black Eyed Peas
I would like to know if there's one original melodic element to this song. So far I can only find "Dirty Bit" followed by that electro house monstrosity. Crap, I think I like this one too. Moving on.

2 Cheryl Cole - Promise This
FINALLY, a track I'm actually sure I hate. The beat is horrible. The chorus is offensively forgettable. The suggestion it actually has personal meaning is hilarious. That sampled vocal hook is totally out of place and utterly irrelevant. And I think most of all, the video is the most pretentious thing. She does not have nearly enough diva status to even think about doing the "wind blowing past her floating body as she pulls the Jesus pose" gig. Seriously, enough's enough now, trot back to Girls Aloud pet and have another gander at that.

1 JLS - Club is Alive
There's no forgiving this. I can't even...

Well that was a relatively uncathartic affair. 2010 did have some fucking shit, but it's becoming so commonplace that I'm almost getting used to it, it's a scary prospect that 2011 could bring more of it. Anyway, that's the last I speak of bad music! Onwards and upwards!

TOP 50 SONGS OF 2010 Pt. 5: 10-1

So, after much deliberating and subsequently forgetting things that I've missed, more rearranging back and forth on iTunes, and considering a top 100, then a 75. here we are. My top 10 songs of the year. I'm sure you'll be disappointed, but if I was reading this list as an outsider, I surely wouldn't. I'd be all "YES, THIS is the shit. Right on that c*nting money".

So try and pretend you're me when reading this, the weepy eyed, rave-happy, summer-missing, sentimental-as-FUCK, and maybe a little bit gay, individual who you almost certainly don't pay much attention to.

10 Hurts - Stay
The art of the power ballad. A tricky one. You've got to believe the singer, you've got to be able to punch the air to each huge snare, you've got to want to listen to it on repeat after a break-up and most importantly you've got to want to lose your voice screeching along to it, with tears in your starry, most likely drunken eyes. Now Hurts are no Celine Dion for melodrama, no Mariah Carey for vocal acrobatics, and no Whitney for drunkeness, so what they have produced with "Stay" is the most uncanny of things. A power ballad that doesn't show off, it simply offers its heart up on a plate.

One might recall Shakespeare's Sister's early 90s collosal ballad by the same name, and that is admittedly a template for this one (not the same song, just to get that straight), but when singer Hutchcraft sings "You say goodbye in the pouring rain, and I break down as you walk away", these words, heard so many times, suddenly sound as genuine and heartbreaking as if they'd never been sung before. The choir who chant "Stay!" from across the street at him feel the exact fear and pain he feels at that moment, as does every Hurts fan lying on their bedroom floor when the moment arrives. In a world of studio trickery and heavy production, "Stay" is endlessly refreshing because the song alone could survive any manner of stripping down, as the words and melody are timeless.



9 Crystal Castles - Baptism
If one thinks back to Crystal Castles' "Alice Practice" single, and how brattish and childish they sounded then, one can never imagine that track outside a bedroom or drunken Skins party. When one listens to "Baptism" however, the jaw will drop on the 50th listen just as hard as on the first. This is one Jesus-sized track, and no I have no I what Alice hollers, but the way she hollers makes me want to stand marching to attention before throwing myself into an almightly moshpit of delirious ravers. The EQ cannot handle the galloping walls of synth, compressed until they burst at the seams, and the whole track is a build up and comedown to that moment when Alice screams her first utterance over the thunderstorm of beats. THE club anthem of the year that you will never hear in a club.



8 The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Lost Saint
The Pains are a band for teenagers with taste, essentially: teenage angst, self-doubt and being scared of your feelings. How they manage to deal with such issues with such depth and beauty is beyond me, but the rather obscure B-side "Lost Saint" manages to tick these boxes and then some. The band are always one to swap between Smiths-esque clangy loveliness and razor sharp punk guitars, "Lost Saint" is one from the former catagory, but with an added maturity and melancholic guitars that suggest a message much deeper than a simple message of teenage angst. The guitar solo is one of the most beautiful musical moments of the year, and vocally as touching, if not moreso, than their previous triumph "Higher than the Stars". Of course, that triumph has now been eclipsed by this wonderful gem. They don't play it live, which is a travesty, but I figure maybe this is one to be enjoyed by yourself on a thoughtful Sunday afternoon.



7 Chad Valley - Anything
If you mix Glo-Fi beats, Balearic synths, and cheesy autotuned vocals, accompanied by squeaky pitch-shifted sampled ones, you have a very crude summary of what "Anything" sounds like. But somehow, the giddy summery dreamwave that Chad Valley produces here manages to be incredibly poignant, in a way that makes "Anything" probably my escapist anthem of this summer. Mastermind Hugo Manuel's vocals are not blissed out and breathy in a way that so many blogpop artists opt for, this guy ad libs and lets his voice break into falsetto every now and again before using a strained tenor that autotune fails to tame. As the track closes to the line "I would do anything", the last word repeats over and over as the track begins to fade in on itself, leaving a wake of uncertainty and desperation that one was not expecting at its beginning. Distant yet urgently trying to communicate, "Anything" leaves the listener wanting more of its emotionally euphoric bliss.



6 The Depreciation Guild - Dream About Me
The Depreciation Guild recall the spirit of My Bloody Valentine, but aren't so fond of the noisy interferences, instead tearing away the nasty bits and washing their sound with a fuzzy warmth that shows off just how gorgeous their ear for melody really is. But "Dream About Me" is positively romantic, even sexy, a daydream of a song that boisters in a deep, intense chorus that seduces as much as it ponders. There's a lot going on in "Dream About Me", but its only credit to their songwriting that each turn you make, there's an even more delicious musical dish around each corner. A perfect song, and one that makes you a bit more breathless each time you hear it.



5 Anathema - Dreaming Light
I talked so much about Anathema around the release of their astonishing We're Here Because We're Here album that it seems odd to look back now, but in a way its always a good idea to return to something incredible after the hype has died down. Though pleasingly, "Dreaming Light" is still the most heartwrenching song of the year, a collosal post-rock crescendo that would surprise even Sigur Ros and a vocal performance that sets Vinny Cavanagh heads and shoulders above any mainstream rock vocalist you could care to mention. The song may be bigger than Jupiter, but there's no pretence here, only pure unadulterated happiness, an emotion finally comfortably associated with Anathema, who have spent years trying to release an album at peace with itself. And finally after 20 years, they have managed it admirably, and "Dreaming Light" gives a simple enough statement: "We made it."



4 Stornoway - I Saw You Blink
For such a seemingly shy and awkward band, from a background of reclusive Oxford culture and a small folky musical scene, Stornoway are not at all shy at expressing joy. "I Saw You Blink" is just charming and sunny at any time of year, and the excitement and love that singer Brian Briggs so desperately tries to keep conservative, simply leaps from his vocal chords as he cries "I need to know, are you the one I've been waiting for?", and when he sings "so, so long!" in the final chorus, it's almost unbearably wonderful. The cheeky organ, eager drumming and zealous percussion, sing-song counterchorus backing vocals and fiercely strummed guitars... it's all just like a perfect summer's day. Perfect for falling in love to.



3 Cee Lo Green - Fuck You!
The world has been waiting for a song like this. Not a song about missing their loved one, or a song about moving on, or even one about "forgetting" you (Yea, FORGET you commercial radio), but a track that just fucking says it. Cee Lo is a mess in this song, just listen to him wailing out "I still love you!" midway. But on the whole, this slap to the face of modern soul is a celebration of hatred towards those who deserve it; those who lie to us. And only two words can really make you feel better. Those are not "forget you" but FUCK and YOU. And boy does Cee Lo spit them out, and every time you hear that chorus, you will too, whatever your state of relationship.

Of course, for a track to reach #3 on my list it's got to have a little bit more than the odd expletive, but of course "Fuck You!" delivers. It's the catchiest tune of the year, goes without saying once you've heard it, and it's got the best lyric of the year ("Guess he's an Xbox and I'm more an Atari" - genius) but above all its the most FUN a track has been in years. It brings friends together on the dancefloor and makes even the most sorry break-up-ee feel like busting a move.

"Cee Lo Green - Makes break-ups fun!" What a calling card.



2 MOPP. - Dream About You
From an international smash hit to something practically internationally unknown. All you need to know about MOPP. is that they (well, he) are from Scotland and they (he) write summery dance music. Everything else you will find out in the first few seconds of "Dream About You". From the moment those three cloud chords break the silence, it hooks into the subconcious and doesn't let go. "Dream About You" is my #2 because, for 4 minutes, you are alone with the song. Every insecurity and worry is addressed ("All alone I struggle on, never knowing where I'm going") and then discarded with the simple phrase "I had a dream about you". Whoever or whatever that dream is about is different for every listener. We all have our dreams and aspirations, but seldom does a track affect us in a way that makes us believe we can achieve them.

As the track bursts from twilight ambience into heavy balearic dance, they sing "when the sun goes down, we know we're not alone", and in that moment, every person who has ever heard the song knows that they indeed are not. I would bet that every person who hears "Dream About You" is affected by its poignant honesty and heartfelt optimism, and even if they aren't, the track is absolute bliss however you listen to it.



1 Robyn - Dancing on My Own
And so here we are. My artist of the year with her track of the year. There's no two ways about it, "Dancing on my Own" is an instant classic. We all knew that Robyn was capable of mixing real feelings and dance beats but "Dancing on My Own" does it so effectively that it feels as if you've known it for years. There is indeed a sense of familiarity about "Dancing on my Own", probably because we can all relate to its lyrics.


Now Robyn isn't anyone's bitch or scapegoat. She doesn't compromise, she doesn't mince her words and she has attitude that could move mountains and bring down governments. But she's also an insecure little girl who desperately wants to be loved. Like "Be Mine" before it, "Dancing on My Own" is brutally honest, euphorically uplifting and yet tenderly bittersweet all at once, a thoroughly intense listening experience and yet with an all too simple message: a broken heart fucking hurts.

Thing is, "Dancing on My Own" is in a resolutely major key, and sports irresistable pulsing rhythms, shiny, tinkly synths and gorgeously warm synth strings; Robyn wants her love interest to see her having a good time without him. But he doesn't see her at all. She's damned if she cries over him, so she dances through her tears, determined to let herself go in the music. But with each thud of the kick, Robyn falls harder and harder. Proof, if ever there was such proof, that Robyn, and Robyn alone, truly understands the sheer emotional power of a simple pop song.




Well that's it. Robyn won. Oh fuck, need to do the albums now. And maybe a couple more little lists for fun.

Top 5 Songs That I Really Shouldn't Have Liked in 2010.

I won't pretend I have the best taste in music, but I've learnt to accept this fact and wear it with pride. Well, semi-pride; I'll publicly hate it until someone muses "Y'know, this isn't half bad", to which I immediately respond "OH MY CHRIST, I LOVE IT." Bad habit. Anyway, I thought I'd exorcise some demons before I proudly present my ACTUAL top 10. If I was a 13 year old chavvy girl from Staines, with a kid, then this would be my top 5. Maybe I was said child in former life...

Anyway, prepare to cringe.

5 JLS - Eyes Wide Shut
I hate JLS, I really do, for a multitude of reasons. I hate that they are the biggest commercial whores on the planet, and will do anything to please their preteenbase. I hate that I find myself, against my will, a tiny bit sexually excited by Marvin and Aston's frequently exposed man cleavage (oh come on, you do too), and I hate that sometimes a song by them will drill its way into my subconcious, like psychological bullying within the entertainment industry. They hire the right songwriters for their cause, no doubt. The bastards have the sickly sweet melodies and pristine R&B backing, but now the mothers have employed the kind of dancefloor filling Calvin Harris synths that are my weak point, and as a result the euphoric chorus pleases my ears a bit too much. Every cliche in the book, laced with A.T. and various other dancepop S.H.I.T.... I paid 99p for this on iTunes and have felt like self harming ever since.

Oh apparantly there's a version with Tinie Tempah.



4 Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo
"TALENTLESS TURD, TALENTLESS TURD, TALENTLESS TURD". Is what I find myself screaming in my head, or indeed out loud, when someone mentions this man. The solo american version of PMS, sorry JLS, Mr Derulo is a shameless whore for autotune and saccharine lyrics and arrangements, the Imogen Heap sample being the only slightly credible artistic display to his name. HOWEVER, the version of Ridin' Solo I listen to is based around a sample of its own, one that didn't make it to the record due to the band in question simply telling Derulo where to stick it. The string crescendos of the Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony" are just enough to add colour to Derulo's would-be-oh-wait-actually-is unbearably obnoxious ode to self-love (the PG version). And due to that, I still find myself accentuating my voice to the vacuous words even now the sample is gone. I'm hooked. FUCK.



3 Cheryl Cole feat. Travis McCoy - Yeah Yeah
Messy Little Raindrops is messy, little and bollocks, and surely the worst album title of all time. And that cover hurts my eyes. And by God, can that woman really not sing one unassisted note? If anyone could save even one second of the record it's the producers. Give her a good song, and a massive backing to cover up the lack of talent. And so we have "Yeah Yeah", which I will concede is actually rather good, thank you Mr Stuart Price. Tumbling pianos and huge pulsating synths over nu-disco beats is hardly new ground for Price, ground which he has paced since Madonna's "Confessions on a Dance Floor", but it saves Cheryl from total irrelevance and her relative anonomity in "Yeah Yeah" admittedly allows the rhythm to take control. Travis McCoy spoils it a bit, but let's face it, it's just refreshing to enjoy a song by Cheryl Cole in any capacity. Refreshing, and a bit bizarre.



2 Nicki Minaj & Will.I.Am - Check it out
You know what? I fucking love this track. Yes it samples a novelty hit from the 80s, features music's Satan Will.I.Am, and the line "I can't believe it, this beat is banging", but oh Nicki, oh Nicki. When she opens her mouth, the shite becomes satirical and the crap becomes credible. And fuck me, "I just pop up on these hoes like some pimple shit, and put an iron to your face y'ol' wrinkle bitch". Who can argue with such angelic words?



1 Joe McElderry - Someone Wake Me Up
One of the ONLY original songs on McElderly's dire debut, "Someone Wake Me Up" could've saved this boys career if only he'd led with it. It's slushy and falsely emotional in a kind of Snow Patrol way, and those anthems guitars are straight from Kelly Clarkson's "lite" soundbite atalogue, but cock me. This is the clean shirted and beamy faced Joe that won the X Factor, and you know what? I really, really like the song, I think it's lovely. Oh and despite the song's request, don't wake me up just yet, I'm pretending that I live in a world where enjoying this is acceptable.